My Site 9th Grade
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Humanities
the power within
The Power Within is a project that gets us to tell about our experiences through writing. Writing is very powerful in a way that gets's us moved, and look at things differently through a new point of view. These are the moments we faced, and told the truth of all we've experienced, and we were the third year of this project. This was also the third year The Power Within project has partnered with a nonprofit program So Say We All, which helps people tell tell their stories, similar to our project.
Drafting
Coming up with my story was very hard, because I don't really like the idea of reading in front of other people. I made my final decision to make my story about how I've been treated at middle school by the staff. I wrote about I got yelled at for no reason, got told stuff to my face,and how I got electrocuted in band class by being rushed out from taking a test. I knew I had to write about La Presa Middle, but I could've compared it to High Tech in my writing. Over all my process was to just write about events that happened to me,and how I felt at the time and how I feel about it now. Since I never talk to people I was thinking of other ways I could show off my writing such as, video recording or tape recording. I didn't want to read while people watch me because then I didn't want them trying to get me to talk, which I always find annoying.
Changing the draft had to be put in the order of what has happened to me, but the hardest part was downsizing it down of the most important events that stick out to me. I've described how I felt at each moment, and really wanted to bring out the hate and angry I had for my former teachers. In order for me to see if I actually brought out the emotions I wanted; I'd get feedback from my performance group. I was so focused to show my emotions in my performance, I just couldn't settle for anything less until the events were in order, and how to transition back from the flashback within the other situations I had with people. I was just Insanely frustrated with how specific I wanted my narrative to sound. I got side tracked from the quantity, and not the quality I needed, which I had to rephrase certain points of my the story. Once the last, and final 4th draft came along, I was very pleased with it. I've final created the story to tell about my truth about the teachers treating me differently. I had finished one of the hardest parts of this project, but now it was time for the worst part.
Changing the draft had to be put in the order of what has happened to me, but the hardest part was downsizing it down of the most important events that stick out to me. I've described how I felt at each moment, and really wanted to bring out the hate and angry I had for my former teachers. In order for me to see if I actually brought out the emotions I wanted; I'd get feedback from my performance group. I was so focused to show my emotions in my performance, I just couldn't settle for anything less until the events were in order, and how to transition back from the flashback within the other situations I had with people. I was just Insanely frustrated with how specific I wanted my narrative to sound. I got side tracked from the quantity, and not the quality I needed, which I had to rephrase certain points of my the story. Once the last, and final 4th draft came along, I was very pleased with it. I've final created the story to tell about my truth about the teachers treating me differently. I had finished one of the hardest parts of this project, but now it was time for the worst part.
There I was at La Presa Middle school with the teachers giving me a hard time. They always yelled at me for no reason thinking I would stay quiet, and wouldn’t tell anyone. Just because I was mute or in other words have selective mutism I still told my mom everything that happened to me at school. Selective mutism is an anxiety disorder that a child has an inability to speak. Sometimes they only speak to family, friends, or in general people they're comfortable with. Overall I was an easy target. I had it tough there, they’d always put me down, so I’d tell my mom. They didn’t like my mom because they knew they’d be told off. I was too nervous to go to school, I’d be doing my tics, which is movement and vocal sounds that a person makes when nervous or in distress. One time when my mom came a little late to pick me up, as some parents do, this st said a stupid little remark to me, and when my mom picked me up I immediately told her with my nephew and sister-in law-in the car. My mom was really upset by this, so she drove back around to go tell a staff member in the office what happened. My mom made sure she got that lady’s name down. I hated my teachers with a passion, and my mom and aunt knew it.
When I was in band class going to take a test we only get five minutes, and within that time we can retake it until time's up. The thing is some of us have extra equipment, and some of us can carry our instruments without the extra items. I’d had carried my amp and my electric guitar into the test room. It’s hard to move around because Mr. Irwin had a lot of junk around in the test room. As, I set up my amp and plugged it to my guitar I started to play. When it came to an end I was rushed out like everyone else was. As, I was rushed I was getting my amp, and I accidently touched the metal part as it was plugged getting electrocuted. After that I was just crying and shook. I was in shock that I just got electrocuted, and to make matters worse we had my math teacher as a sub.[ And, let me tell you see was a real bitch,] a real snotty bitch. This other time I needed to call my mom for something because there was a spider on my paper,and she didn’t do nothing about it. That’s when we had her another time as a sub. She was switching with some other teacher, and said out loud,”She just wants attention”. This made me mad and not want to work for the rest of the time, so when the time came to go to our next period I went to the office and called my mom. After this happened my mom went to all of my teachers to show her if they all had my IEP or not. But, going back to me explaining what happened in band, I kept crying, and she saw, but didn’t say nothing because they never helped out students, except some. My friend Isis next to noticed, and took me to the nurse because it was October, and decorated with spiders. She had explained to the nurse what I had explained to her, and called my mom. My mom was not happy she came in worried asked me if I was okay, then asked how it happened. In the nurse’s own words she said,’’Well it’s a lesson learned”, in and attitude tone, which made my mom more angry with her because I didn’t do it on purpose. My mom took me out of school for the day, and took me to the ER because I wasn’t feeling right. When we were done things could’ve been worse for me if I held on longer, but I was glad I was fine. When it came to my mom taking things up to the district she listed out everything that happened to me, and how they treated the students at La Presa Middle. They got the information and went to the school to see what was going on. To me they didn’t seem to do anything because they kept on picking on me, and I was too scared to stand up for myself. There were times where I just wanted to walk out of the room, and call my mom to come get me. There were times when I just wanted to give them the finger, and not care if they report it because my mom would’ve know my reasons for doing it and being completely alright with it. I’d get in trouble for the stupidest reasons. My advisor Ms. Sheldon was explaining what we could work on for the time we had, and she let us ask her questions. As, we were asking questions one by to one getting extra, you could tell by her face that she looked annoyed, and when it was turn to ask about math she just completely burst, and just took it all out on me. Turns out her dog died`, but I didn’t care. I was worried about telling my mom and getting her in trouble. She didn’t have to yell at me in front of the whole class like that. It was embarrassing I didn’t want to be in her class for the rest of the time, but I had to suck it up, and work. When I came home I told reported it to my, and that’s when she went to confront the principal of what she did. [I would be nervous around my teachers.] When I held my mom’s hand to feel safe, she would always say they were sweaty. She’d always stay with me, so I can eat breakfast, before walking me to class. I’ve told her I never wanted to go anymore, and it would be better if she sent me to another school. [But, I couldn’t leave my best friend Cassandra at the time. She was always helpful, and was there for me when I needed her. She’d always surprise me, invite me to parties, and have sleepovers at her house. Cassandra would never let me down, and it felt good to know that I had a friend like her. I wasn’t nervous if the teachers were around because Cassandra wouldn't let anyone treat me like that.]She was really protective of me. [When it came to my second year. It was more hell for me.] The teachers were a lot worse that year. Yet again, there was more conflict between me and my teachers. And this one time my sister watched me eat breakfast at school, and walked me to class. After I finished I wanted to do some work because my teacher Rachel Bloom said we can come in if we needed to. There was still time to work, and my sister walked me in she asked what I was here for. My sister answered that I came early to do work, and my teacher responded,” Well I’ve been here since eight, and you should’ve came in the morning!” My sister was shocked to hear her talk to me in that tone, and my sister thought that was really rude and bitchy of her. My sister said,” Come on Sabrina” thinking I had to go first period, then I said,”This is my first period”. This angered her that it didn’t matter anyway if I worked on it now, because we were going to continue it all in class. What my sister did was told my mom, and yet, again there was more problems between my mom and the principal. My mom wanted me out of that classroom. She wanted Michael Almond the principal to either get me a new teacher, or he teach me himself, or get someone to teach me. He didn’t want to do any thing like he usually doesn't do because he always said that I mistook what Rachel had said, but how could I when another adult finally heard? My sister understood that well perfectly clear without misunderstanding it. She was my witness, to what actually goes down when no other adults are around to hear or see what happens to students. My mom always confronted the teachers, and they never liked her at all. When my mom’s mad she’s really mad, and will not hold back cussing. When it came to the end of the year of eighth grade my mom wanted to have a meeting, with all the teachers and with the person from the district there to listen to what I have to say. The principal was making this difficult because he was trying to save himself and the teachers from being in big trouble. When the meeting finally took place, my aunt Rachel came, and she’s a teacher. Throughout the two years I’ve been there she’s been pointing out the big NO NO’s they were doing. For example some of them never read my IEP or never had it in the first place. They never met any of my needs on there to help me out She didn’t say she was a teacher, she just pointed out what they did wrong. Once they were confused on how she knew all this, she revealed she was a teacher and they had blank stares. The lady from the district wanted to hear what happened from my mouth when I purposely told my mom out loud, so my teachers could be scared of me, of what I had to say. I didn’t hold back of what I had to say, I was just saying what I had to say with anger. My aunt was telling me not to be rude, but my mom stopped her and told her to let me talk. The teachers couldn’t believe what I was saying. It felt good to not hold back my feelings. Although not all of the teachers were there, I like to think they had something to hide, or they were too afraid showing their faces. I’ve never felt more better than telling the truth of all the episodes taking place to the school I once went, and I vowed to never let that happen to me again. My power comes from being strong, and not hold back my feelings when it comes to my teachers to my family. I’ll always make sure nothing will escalate from me not wanting to be in class or at school. |
Power Within Me
There I was at La Presa Middle school with the teachers giving me a hard time. They always yelled at me for no reason thinking I would stay quiet, and wouldn’t tell anyone. Just because I was mute or in other words have selective mutism I still told my mom everything that happened to me at school. Selective mutism is an anxiety disorder that a child has an inability to speak. Sometimes they only speak to family, friends, or in general people they're comfortable with. Overall I was an easy target. I had it tough there, they’d always put me down to make me scared of them. I wasn’t the only one that saw this, my mom saw how they treated me. They didn’t like my mom because she always stood up for me. I was too nervous to get to school, stressed even to the point I would do my tics uncontrollably. Tics are movement and vocal sounds that a person makes when nervous or in distress. These movement are unwanted and the person can’t help to stop. One time after school my mom came a little late to pick me up, Ms.Boldman said in an attitude tone,”Your mom talks about Mr.Irwin being late, and she’s not even here”. My mom was hardly late to pick me up before the staff goes back to the office for whatever reasons. This made me upset that she just straight up told that to me when Mr.Irwin was late all the time. Sometimes he wasn’t on time on the days he said he arrive early to drop our instruments off. As my mom pulled up I wasted no time getting in, telling her what Ms. Boldman had remarked to me. My mom was really upset by this, so she drove back around to go tell a staff member in the office what happened. My mom made sure she got that her name down by asking me, and had me describing her appearance to see if she recognized her. I hated my teachers and staff with a passion, and my mom and aunt knew it. My aunt was one to hear me talk about my days at school, and she knew all the things that happened to me. She even came with my mom at times because of how I’ve been treated Another time I had a terrible incident was in band class. I went in the test to to take a test with only five minutes in mind. Everyone gets five minutes, and within that five minutes we can retake it if we get bad scores. The thing is some of us have extra equipment, and some of us can carry our instruments without the extra items. People who played bass or electric guitar had to carry both an amp along with that instrument. All of the brass instruments had to be carried to the back room, but were quite big and looked heavy. People who had the tuba had to be really careful walking with it, and going into a room with a bunch of stands in the way. I carried my amp and my electric guitar into the test room. It’s hard to move around because Mr. Irwin had a lot of stands around in the test room, so if you have big equipment you had to make sure nothing was knocked down. As, I set up my amp and plugged it to my guitar I started to play until my time was up. When it came to an end I was rushed out like everyone else was. And, as this was happening I was nervously getting my guitar and trying to unplug my amp. As I was doing this I accidently touched the metal part as it was still plugged got electrocuted. After that I was just crying and shook. In my mind, I realized what happened and in a nervous tone said,’’That really just happened,” I was shaking so much, as I became nervous and didn’t feel right. To be in such shock from the fact that I just got electrocuted, and to make matters worse we had my math teacher as a sub. Ms.Martinez was our sub for the period. [ And, let me tell you see was a real bitch,] a real snotty bitch. She was one of those teachers who would always be like well,”I’m the teacher I’m right”. She could never come to the fact that students knew more than her sometimes when it came to things outside of math. She really liked embarrassing student's when they were wrong when it came to solving a math problems. I should know this because I had her as my math teacher. Another other problem I had with her was to call my mom because of this other incident, and she refused to let me do it. She traded off with some other sub, and told her not to let me call or go leave the room, and said,”She just wanted attention!”. I really wanted to walk out of the classroom and just call my mom, but I didn’t have the courage to, so I didn’t work the rest of the period. I purposely waited until passing period to go to the office, and just call my mom to come and get me. Yet, again we had problems with the teachers, and my needs were not met from my IEP. My band teacher never had it this whole time, followed with those other teachers. After this happened my mom went to all of my teachers to show her if they all had my IEP or not. But, going back to me explaining what happened in band, I kept crying, and she saw, but didn’t say nothing because they never helped out students, except some. My friend Isis next to noticed, and took me to the nurse because it was October, and decorated with spiders. She had explained to the nurse what I had explained to her, and called my mom. My mom was not happy she came in worried asked me if I was okay, then asked how it happened. In the nurse’s own words she said,’’Well it’s a lesson learned”, in and attitude tone, which made my mom more angry with her because I didn’t do it on purpose. My mom took me out of school for the day, and took me to the ER because I wasn’t feeling right. When we were done things could’ve been worse for me if I held on longer, but I was glad I was fine. They doctor told me in her own words,” If she had cuts or abrasions that could’ve been worse for her”. My mom had feelings of rage and fear, because I’ve never been electrocuted before in my life. We both were worried for my safety, and I was really concerned to days to come until I was completely finished with middle school. When it came to my mom taking things up to the district she listed out everything that happened to me, and how they treated the students at La Presa Middle. They got the information and went to the school to see what was going on. To me they didn’t seem to do anything because they kept on picking on me, and I was too scared to stand up for myself. There were times where I just wanted to walk out of the room, and call my mom to come get me. There were times when I just wanted to give them the finger, and not care if they report it because my mom would’ve know my reasons for doing it and being completely alright with it. I’d get in trouble for the stupidest reasons. My advisor Ms. Sheldon was explaining what we could work on for the time we had, and she let us ask her questions. For example, we could work on math, history, science, or language arts. As, we were asking questions one by to one getting extra, you could tell by her face that she looked annoyed, and when it was turn to ask about math she just completely burst, and just took it all out on me. I was just asking her how to remember how to do certain steps on math, because I was really struggling. I know I can be slow in math, but I was just asking a damn question for math! I’d rather ask than be dumb not to because sometimes they’ll say<” Why didn’t you get help by coming in at lunch, or in advisory?”. Turns out her dog died, but I didn’t care. I was worried about telling my mom and getting her in trouble. She didn’t have to yell at me in front of the whole class like that. It was embarrassing I didn’t want to be in her class for the rest of the time, but I had to suck it up, and work. When I came home I told reported it to my, and that’s when she went to confront the principal of what she did. [From now on I’d be nervous around my teachers, and couldn’t stop thinking of what was to come.] When I held my mom’s hand to feel safe, she would always say they were sweaty. She’d always stay with me, so I can eat breakfast, before walking me to class. I’ve told her I never wanted to go anymore, and it would be better if she sent me to another school. [But, I couldn’t leave my best friend Cassandra at the time. She was always helpful, and was there for me when I needed her. She’d always surprise me, invite me to parties, and have sleepovers at her house. Cassandra would never let me down, and it felt good to know that I had a friend like her. I wasn’t nervous if the teachers were around because Cassandra wouldn't let anyone treat me like that.]She was really protective of me. [When it came to my second year. It was more hell for me.] The teachers were a lot worse that year. Yet again, there was more conflict between me and my teachers. And this one time my sister watched me eat breakfast at school, and walked me to class. After I finished I wanted to do some work because my teacher Rachel Bloom said we can come in if we needed to. There was still time to work, and my sister walked me in she asked what I was here for. My sister answered that I came early to do work, and my teacher responded,” Well I’ve been here since eight, and you should’ve came in the morning!” My sister was shocked to hear her talk to me in that tone, and my sister thought that was really rude and bitchy of her. My sister said,” Come on Sabrina” thinking I had to go first period, then I said,”This is my first period”. This angered her that it didn’t matter anyway if I worked on it now, because we were going to continue it all in class. What my sister did was told my mom, and yet, again there was more problems between my mom and the principal. My mom wanted me out of that classroom. She wanted Michael Almond the principal to either get me a new teacher, or he teach me himself, or get someone to teach me. He didn’t want to do any thing like he usually doesn't do because he always said that I mistook what Rachel had said, but how could I when another adult finally heard? My sister understood that well perfectly clear without misunderstanding it. She was my witness, to what actually goes down when no other adults are around to hear or see what happens to students. My mom always confronted the teachers, and they never liked her at all. When my mom’s mad she’s really mad, and will not hold back cussing. When it came to the end of the year of eighth grade my mom wanted to have a meeting, with all the teachers and with the person from the district there to listen to what I have to say. The principal was making this difficult because he was trying to save himself and the teachers from being in big trouble. When the meeting finally took place, my aunt Rachel came, and she’s a teacher. Throughout the two years I’ve been there she’s been pointing out the big NO NO’s they were doing. For example some of them never read my IEP or never had it in the first place. They never met any of my needs on there to help me out. She didn’t say she was a teacher, she just pointed out what they did wrong. Once they were confused on how she knew all this, she revealed she was a teacher and they had blank stares. The lady from the district wanted to hear what happened from my mouth when I purposely told my mom out loud, so my teachers could be scared of me, of what I had to say. I didn’t hold back of what I had to say, I was just saying what I had to say with anger. For once I wasn’t nervous, but heart was beating fast to let the words fall out of my mouth. My nerves were relaxed, but I tensed back up again ready to call out who did me wrong. The amygdala in my brain was triggered with all the bad memories I’ve mades for the two years I’ve been at La Presa Middle. The adrenaline was making my face warm, with anger, and I knew I couldn’t stop now.My aunt was telling me not to be rude, but my mom stopped her and told her to let me talk. The teachers couldn’t believe what I was saying. It felt good to not hold back my feelings. Although not all of the teachers were there, I like to think they had something to hide, or they were too afraid showing their faces. I’ve never felt more better than telling the truth of all the episodes taking place to the school I once went, and I vowed to never let that happen to me again. My power comes from being strong, and not hold back my feelings when it comes to my teachers to my family. I’ll always make sure nothing will escalate from me not wanting to be in class or at school. |